We are not going back
I can’t help but believe there is something just up ahead that we can’t quite see from here. When it comes, we will be glad we navigated our way through the necessary course corrections over the past few years. I believe good things are ahead. This is a time of restoration. But it is not about being restored to where we used to be. It’s about God restoring our lives so we can function more out of our authentic selves, as we fulfill God’s destiny for our lives. We have been transitioning from where we are to where we need to be, moving from one state of being to another. That is the essence of the Dalet.
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. ~ Romans 8:28
Somehow over the past two and a half years my life adapted to living in the county. Tree lined winding roads through rolling hills. On the thirteen mile trip to the nearest Walmart there’s a bend in the road, just past a vineyard. As you emerge from the turn, there’s an opening in the tress and you get a glimpse on the distant horizon of the Blue Ridge Mountains. It’s breathtaking. Yeah, there’s something about nature. It’s not only soothing, it’s healing. It’s cathartic. It has a way of purging your soul of the gunk that gets clogged in our mind and emotions. I didn’t expect healing to be a product of my Virginia pause. But it was.
Now, I am acutely aware that I have exited that season of my life. Evidently, I needed it. Today, as I drive through the heavily congested roads of the northwest Chicago suburbs I am mindful that I’m an outsider. The Virginia tags aren’t the only giveaway. My life is in a different place. I haven’t returned to the life I had when I left here in the Spring of 2020. I’m not picking up where I left off. Something has changed. I’ve changed. I’ve transitioned.
Just the other day, I tried to step into a situation I’ve been in a multitude of times over the course of my life. I went to a women’s ministry meeting. For all intentions it was the same. But I wasn’t. Lunch was what was expected. Fellowship was what was expected. Even the ministry was what was expected. But for some reason it didn’t hit the same place in me. I expected it to be the same. I expected me to be the same in it. It wasn’t. I wasn’t. I’ve changed.
To Him who loves us and has released us from our sins by His blood, who has made us to be a kingdom, priests to His God and Father—to Him be the glory and power forever and ever! Amen.
I’ve been teaching on the subjects of the Tabernacle, the Feasts, Hebraic roots and the Hebraic calendar for over twelve years now. I’ve study them for over thirty. I’ve gone to different spirit-filled para-church meetings since the early 1990’s. But last Saturday I found myself on the outside. Oh, the ladies were welcoming, especially those I’ve known for years. But my internal life has shifted. Something has transpired over the recent years that has altered me. It wasn’t heavenly encounters, though I’ve had those over the years. It wasn’t a profound revelation, though I’ve had those as well. No, it was something internal, something at a much deeper level has transpired. I can only attribute it to transition; transformational transition.
The feeling reminds me of a particular time in my youth. Right after 8th Grade graduation our family moved away. I had gone to the same grammar school since kindergarten. I knew everyone in the neighborhood and they knew me. We hung out. We were friends. We were neighbors. We had a lot in common. Or at least I though we did. Then, after I got my driver’s license, I went back for a visit. The place hadn’t changed. The people hadn’t changed. But somehow, something had. Something was different. We had all moved forward. They moved forward. But it seemed I had moved forward differently. It wasn’t the same. And for some reason connecting wasn’t the same. What I experienced this past Saturday at the ministry gathering felt the same way it did when I tried to go back to my old neighborhood. The group had moved forward. So had I. We just moved forward differently.
Don’t get me wrong. It was wonderful to see everyone. I had a great time. But something just wasn’t the same. And I got the impression it wasn’t going to be. At least not for me. Internally, in my spirit, I knew. I didn’t fit here anymore. God had shifted me from where I was to where I need to be. Evidently, I need to be somewhere else. But where? If I’m not going back to where I was then where am I to go?
When I got home the Lord spoke to me. I believe what He said is not just for me.
The Lord says: “I shifted you. I have altered you from the inside out. You are not who you once were. I am doing a work, an individual work. You cannot expect to fit where you used to fit. I have a new place for you. Remember that old pair of shoes that were your favorites? You wore them every chance you got. But then they wore out. The styles changed, you changed. They used to fit the best, feel the best, but then you got a new pair of shoes and when you tried to go back to the old ones they weren’t quite as comfortable as you remembered. Be patient. Be encouraged. You’ll see. There have been internal alterations that have changed you. I am doing a work in you to bring you forth in a new way. No, you won’t fit were you used to. Rejoice. Because I have a new place for you.”
Something new is coming. We are in a time of restoration. But we are not being restored to what was. We are being restored so that we can go forward in a new way. I pray the Lord give you insight and direction as He imparts His grace to make the necessary changes in the days and weeks ahead. ~ Shalom!
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