We need resilience if we are going to thrive.
In today’s fast-changing world, resilience is more important than ever. It is a key quality needed for individuals and communities to thrive.
Resilience isn’t just about bouncing back from adversity. It is the strength to face life’s challenges with courage and integrity while maintaining a positive outlook. As we navigate the complexities of life, the cultivation of strong moral character becomes indispensable. It shapes how we respond to setbacks, make decisions, and interact with others.
For the Ekklesia this vital characteristic is greatly needed. As God’s people we are always under scrutiny. While we are not to conform to the ways of the world, we do need to learn how to do more than survive.
This journey of character building not only fosters personal growth and fulfillment but also contributes to the creation of ethical communities rooted in trust, empathy, and cooperation. In order to build safe, loving and Christ centered communities we need to be safe, loving, trustworthy individuals.
In our exploration of resilience, we will delve into the essential traits that build a strong character, highlighting the incredible impact they have on our lives and the positive world we can create together.
Resilience Building
Resilience is the ability to recover quickly from difficulties and adapt to challenging situations. It involves maintaining a positive outlook and finding ways to overcome obstacles, setbacks, and failures. Resilient individuals possess traits such as integrity, perseverance, and self-discipline, which enable them to stay true to their values and goals even when faced with adversity. This inner strength allows them to maintain their composure, make ethical decisions, and continue moving forward despite challenges. Resilience is not only crucial for personal growth and fulfillment but also plays a vital role in building strong, ethical communities by fostering cooperation and reducing conflict.
Building From the Inside Out
Integrity, perseverance, and self-discipline are basic principles categorized as character traits. Justice, courage and humility belong to this group. As opposed to more the superficial traits of personality, which govern our attitudes, behaviors, skills and talents, character traits require more time and labor intensive effort to develop. I can essentially influence my attitude by focusing on positive things. But that doesn’t change the underlying foundation of who I am. And if the foundation is unstable what is built upon it cannot be sustained. The trials and challenges of life have the potential to shake our very foundation. Having a solid and stable core gives us the ability to endure these storms. Essentially, the tests, trials and difficulties actually strengthen the foundational core of someone whose character is solid. Focusing on building trust by being trustworthy is one way to build and strengthen our character.
Character Defined
A person’s character, from an ethical perspective, is defined by the consistency of their actions, choices, and intentions in alignment with moral principles. It reflects their commitment to values such as honesty, integrity, fairness, and empathy, even when faced with challenges or temptation. Ethical character is demonstrated not just in grand gestures but in everyday decisions, where doing the right thing often requires self-discipline and accountability. It is shaped over time through reflection, moral reasoning, and the willingness to learn from mistakes, ultimately guiding how the individual contributes positively to the well-being of others and society as a whole.
Why It Matters and How to Achieve It
Character building is the process of developing and nurturing the moral and ethical qualities that define who we are as individuals. It is the foundation of personal growth, integrity, and the ability to contribute positively to society. While talents, skills, and intelligence can help someone succeed, it is character that determines how that success is achieved and sustained. A strong character influences interpersonal relationships, professional opportunities, and one’s sense of fulfillment in life. It is an essential aspect of human development.
The Importance of Having a Working Moral Compass
Character building is important because it shapes the moral compass that guides decision-making. In a world full of challenges, temptations, and complex situations, having a well-formed character ensures that choices are made based on principles rather than convenience or impulse. For example, honesty and responsibility are character traits that lead to trustworthiness, which is crucial in both personal and professional relationships.
A lack of moral conscience can lead to outcomes that may initially seem advantageous. Making decisions without being hindered by guilt or empathy, may temporarily result in personal gain or success in competitive environments. However, the downside is profound and more impactful than we may realize. Relationships often suffer due to a lack of trust and compassion. Social isolation becomes common as others perceive the individual as untrustworthy or harmful. Over time, the absence of moral restraint can result in destructive behaviors that harm both the individual and society, leaving lasting emotional and ethical consequences.
Moral character will endure much longer than the fluff of persuasion. For instance, I may persuade you to buy something from me. But if I later prove to be untrustworthy or unethical in my dealings I will more than likely lose you as a client. Manipulation is not match for honest integrity. I can’t tell you how many times I have veered away from individuals because their integrity didn’t match their presentation. They may have sounded good up front. I may have bought into the scheme by their charismatic personality. But when I found their integrity to be wanting I walked away.
You can tell me you love me, but if your consistent behavior is abusive, degrading or dishonoring I have to question your version of love. Love doesn’t harm. Love doesn’t mistreat others. Love doesn’t treat people with distain or disrespect. Love honors. Love protects. Love does no harm. Love doesn’t cheat. Love doesn’t have an ulterior motive. Love loves.
Strong Ethical and Moral Character Provide Resilience
Moreover, strong character provides resilience in the face of adversity. Life is full of obstacles, setbacks, and failures, and individuals with integrity, perseverance, and self-discipline are better equipped to overcome these challenges. They are less likely to abandon their goals or compromise their values when tested. Character is also tied closely to self-respect; when people act in alignment with their principles, they cultivate inner confidence and peace of mind.
From a social perspective, character building is vital because it contributes to the creation of strong, ethical communities. Every society will thrive when individuals demonstrate empathy, fairness, and respect for others. These qualities reduce conflict and foster cooperation. Without a shared commitment to moral behavior, trust erodes, and social progress becomes difficult to achieve. We see this first in our own families.
My parents were both ragers. As a kid growing up in that environment was scary. Even though I understood later in life that they both came out of highly dysfunctional situations it didn’t change the fact that I had great difficulty trusting others. Even though they matured and developed ethically and morally a foundation had been laid in my life early on. As an adult, I had to learn how to develop honesty and integrity in my own character. It didn’t just happen. I had to do more than want those things in my life. I had to actively pursue it and make hard choices. I had to live in the discomfort of the immediate situation for a payoff that would come later. It took making purposeful effort every single day.
How to Build Character
The paramount requirement in building character is self-awareness, followed by intentional effort, and consistent practice. It does not happen overnight, and it involves making difficult choices that prioritize long-term growth over short-term satisfaction.
Self-Reflection and Awareness
The first step in building character is understanding oneself. Reflecting on personal values, strengths, and weaknesses helps individuals identify the traits they wish to develop. Journaling, meditation, or simply taking time to consider one’s daily actions can reveal patterns of behavior that need improvement. What do we value and why? Our core values determine our attitudes and behavior.
One of my Core Values
For example, one of my core values is agency. Agency is closely related to the concept of freedom in that it stems from self government. It means to actively decide on actions rather than being dictated upon by external forces. Agency encompasses the capacity to determine one’s own path and to exert influence over one’s environment and situations.
This fundamental value is the human capacity to act independently, make choices, and exert control over one’s life and environment, moving beyond being a passive recipient of circumstances to become an active agent of change, fostering ownership, empowerment, and personal growth, which drives innovation and fulfillment. It’s the belief and ability to influence oneself and the world, leading to greater responsibility, proactive behavior, and higher levels of competence and self-actualization.
The core value of agency is important to me. When a child is not given the space to act as an intentional agent in age appropriate ways and deal with the subsequent results, they struggle to develop the confidence, responsibility, and self-worth needed to exercise their agency in adulthood. I struggled with having a healthy perspective of my own self worth. Our home was a dictatorship governed through authoritarian parenting, inconsistent discipline, neglect and lack of structure. I didn’t develop agency as I grew up. I had to develop it purposefully and intentionally.
Out of a lack of self worth and low self esteem I lacked the confidence needed to be the author of my own story. I desperately wanted to. I was fed up with feeling controlled and dictated to. I was determined to take control of my own life. Even as an adult, doing so was a direct opposition to my parent’s desires. The immediate consequences was suffering the raging emotions and immature behavior intended to get me to comply. It took frank conversation and a willingness on my part to live in the discomfort of disappointing my parents in order to have the life I truly wanted.
Being self aware doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time and tons of introspection. I had to be willing to see my shortcomings for what they were, obstacles to my own happiness. I not only had to be honest with myself, I had to be willing to do hard work if I wanted the life I wanted.
Setting Principles and Living by Them
Once a person has clarity about their values, it is important to establish guiding principles and make decisions that align with them. For instance, committing to honesty means resisting small temptations to lie or cover up, even when dishonesty seems easier or more rewarding. Consistency reinforces character and builds a reputation of reliability.
Learning from Role Models
Observing the behavior of respected leaders, mentors, or even historical figures can offer powerful lessons in character building. Role models demonstrate how virtues like courage, humility, and perseverance can be applied in real-life situations. Emulating positive behaviors can accelerate personal growth.
Practicing Self-Discipline
Character faces its greatest testing in moments of temptation or difficulty. Self-discipline is the tool that allows us to stay true to our values. Forming healthy habits, setting clear goals, and delaying gratification are practical ways to strengthen self-control. Over time, these practices become second nature and reinforce strong moral character.
After my first experience with the manifest presence of God I was hooked. I wanted more. It was at a Charismatic prayer meeting I attended with my grandfather in the early 1970’s. Many of those gathered were older folks, closer to my grandfather’s age than mine. As I looked around these folks seemed to have something that I did not. I wasn’t sure at first but eventually realized what they had was maturity. Oh, I know they were old folks but it wasn’t their age. It was the way they talked about God as if He were a close personal friend. Like someone you sit down with and have a cup of coffee and just chat. I saw the value of what could develop out of spending time with God every day. They each had developed an intimate relationship with God through personal devotion and reading the word. I remember them telling me, “It doesn’t come any other way.” I was a teenager at the time. I wanted what they had but I didn’t have the patience to put in the effort. In time, however, I learned that they were right. And if I truly wanted the product of intimacy with God in my life it wasn’t going to just happen. I had to put in the time. I had to develop a habit of prayer and reading the word. As I did, my life in God developed. Were there things I had to give up? Of course. But looking back, I’m glad I made the choice I did.
Practice Serving Others and Showing Empathy
Helping others is a powerful character builder. Serving others helps us develop compassion and humility. Volunteer work, acts of kindness, and genuine efforts to understand others’ perspectives broaden a person’s worldview and strengthen their moral foundation. Service develops gratitude and reinforces the understanding that one’s actions affect the lives of others.
Showing kindness plays a powerful role in building character because it encourages empathy, selflessness, and emotional strength. Each act of kindness, whether big or small, challenges us to look beyond ourselves and consider the needs of others. By practicing kindness consistently, we develop patience, humility, and a deeper understanding of the world around us. It also fosters resilience, as helping others often requires stepping out of our comfort zones and acting despite personal challenges. Over time, these moments of compassion shape who we are, creating a foundation of integrity and moral strength that defines true character.
Learning from Mistakes
Nobody is perfect, and building character involves acknowledging failures and using them as opportunities for growth. Toxic shame has no place in the realm of mistakes. When we take responsibility for our mistakes, it chisels away at debilitating shame. Shame is what causes us to hide and cover up our mistakes, preventing us from learning and improving. Fear of reprisal can exacerbate this issue, making it even harder to confront our errors openly. Realizing that being imperfect is simply being human we can more easily embrace our imperfections and learning from them. Embracing imperfection fosters resilience and aids in developing a stronger, more authentic character. The ability to learn, adapt, and evolve beyond our mistakes is central to lifelong character development.
Conclusion
True resilience and moral character are forged through our unwavering commitment to effort, self-reflection, and the courageous act of confronting life’s challenges with integrity. Let us hold fast to the values of honesty, empathy, and perseverance, empowering ourselves to strengthen our inner core and create a positive impact in the world around us. Every choice to act with integrity, learn from our mistakes, and serve others not only shapes who we are but also prepares us to thrive in the face of adversity, leaving a meaningful legacy behind.
Building a loving, Christ-centered, empathic community starts with each of us choosing to be loving, Christ-centered, and empathic individuals. If we desire kindness in our world, we must take the first step by being kind ourselves. Shifting our focus to developing our own character allows us to make a difference, rather than dwelling on the shortcomings of others.
We can all agree that the moral compass and ethical character of the global Ekklesia needs to improve. As we work towards this, we will witness the emergence of a more stable and powerful community. Each of our lives matters, and we have the incredible opportunity to leave a better legacy than those who came before us. We have the power to impact the world for good, to build God’s kingdom.
Together, let us embrace our roles as true disciples of Christ. Let us follow in His ways and make the conscious choice to be ambassadors for Him. The time is now; the choice is ours. Join in this transformative journey and take action to create a world of love and purpose!
Self-Reflective Questions
Consider taking these questions as journal prompts to finish the year with fresh perspectives and insights. Reflecting on your experiences can provide clarity, helping you to recognize your growth over the past months. As the year comes to a close, this exercise can also encourage you to set meaningful intentions for the year ahead, guiding you toward personal development and fulfillment. Embrace this opportunity to dive deeper into your thoughts and emotions, allowing each prompt to inspire you to explore new ideas and possibilities as you prepare for the future.
- What does resilience mean to me, and how do I currently embody it in my life?
- How do I respond to adversity, and what can I learn from my reactions?
- In what areas of my life am I demonstrating integrity, and where could I improve?
- What character traits do I value most, and how do they influence my decisions?
- How do I ensure that my actions align with my core values and moral principles?
- What specific challenges have shaped my character, and how have they contributed to my growth?
- Who are my role models, and what qualities do I admire in them that I wish to emulate?
- How do I practice self-discipline in my daily life, and what habits can I develop further?
- In what ways can I serve others to strengthen my character and community?
- How do I handle my mistakes and failures, and what lessons can I draw from them?
- What fears or doubts hold me back from embracing my agency and making independent choices?
- How do my relationships reflect my character, and what changes could improve them?
- What small steps can I take today to develop my moral character further?
- How do I respond to the shortcomings of others, and how can I shift my focus to my own growth?
- What legacy do I want to leave behind, and how does my current character support that vision?
Bible Verses
Proverbs 22:1 ~ A good name is to be more desired than great wealth; Favor is better than silver and gold.
1 Timothy 4:7–8 ~ But stay away from worthless stories that are typical of old women. Rather, discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness; 8 for bodily training is just slightly beneficial, but godliness is beneficial for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.
Romans 5:3–5 ~ And not only this, but we also celebrate in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; 4 and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; 5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
James 1:2–4 ~ Consider it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you encounter various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4 And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
2 Peter 1:5–8 ~ Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, 6 and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, 7 and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. 8 For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they do not make you useless nor unproductive in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Proverbs 4:23 ~ Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.
1 Corinthians 15:33 ~ Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”
Philippians 4:8 ~ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Galatians 5:22–23 ~ But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Colossians 3:12–14 ~ So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so must you do also. 14 In addition to all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.
Romans 12:2 ~ And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
Hebrews 12:11 ~ For the moment, all discipline seems not to be pleasant, but painful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterward it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.
Proverbs 27:17 ~ As iron sharpens iron, So one person sharpens another.
1 Timothy 6:11 ~ But flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness.
Matthew 5:48 ~ Therefore you shall be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Ephesians 4:22–24 ~ that, in reference to your former way of life, you are to rid yourselves of the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, 23 and that you are to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.
Titus 2:11–12 ~ For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all people, 12 instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously, and in a godly manner in the present age,
1 Peter 2:1–3 ~ Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander, 2 and like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation, 3 if you have tasted the kindness of the Lord.