Almost, just not quite yet
First An Ending
Are you experiencing some upheaval that is leaving you wondering where life is going from here? I know I am. The calling hasn’t necessarily changed. At least I don’t think it has. Yet, what we do, and how we do it is shifting. We are on the brink of a new spiritual season. The new season will require being recommissioning and receiving a new mantle. This means we will need a fresh outpouring of Holy Spirit for going forward. However, that new anointing hasn’t been released just yet. We are still in the something ending part of a new beginning.
As such, I find myself in a bit of a quandary. Where to put my focus? I know I’m entering a production season. But, for now, I’m at a loss. It’s time but it’s not time. Does that make sense? I believe we are ever evolving, and always transitioning from one state of being to another. Yet, I also believe that what I am called to ostensibly remains the same. But, I find myself asking the question: what exactly is that? I thought I knew. I’ve known for the last forty some years. Yet, the deposit of Holy Spirit I received in October 1982, that launched me into the Spirit-filled atmosphere, has for the most part, gone away.
I NEVER EXPECTED THAT!
In 2022, when I got Covid and then long covid, an extended hiatus from working on my blogs became necessary. Honestly, there were times, I didn’t know if I would ever come back to it. But what I’m referring to isn’t just a pause. It was more like when you pause the TV, but it stayed in pause so long the whole system just shuts off. Yeah, that. Now what? Do I pick up where I left off? If so, where was that? Does it matter?
The Lord spoke to me recently, in reply to the disappointment I was experiencing from things not going the way I thought they would. He said, “Replace what you thought was going to happen with what I am saying now.” Let that sink in. Read it again. That means I’m in seek God for insight, wisdom, understanding, direction…anything and everything mode. That phrase is kind of stuck on repeat.
All I know is that I need to be re-baptized, re-commissioned, re-anointed, re-something, RE-EVERYTHING! But, I can’t make it happen. We can’t make it happen. We can cry out for it. We can beg. We can pray. But, at the end of the day, all we can do is wait on God.
Endings and New Beginnings
In the midst of waiting for new empowerment, I decided to keep myself occupied with working on my blogs. What stays? What goes? Where to put my limited energy first? Am I going to continue ? If so with what? Blog, podcast, books, maybe start a new home group? It feels more like busy work. Something to keep my hands busy and my mind occupied until something changes.
I also decided to revisit the scripture verses the Lord gave me specifically for the Hebraic years 5782 and 5783 [1 Peter 5.10 and Isaiah 43.19]
Isaiah 43:19 NLT For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.
1 Peter 5:10 BSB And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore you, secure you, strengthen you, and establish you.
Henry Cloud, author of the book Necessary Endings, compares the ending process necessary to move forward in life and business, to pruning a rosebush. He refers to this as a process of proactive endings. Whenever I am changing direction, altering my focus or simply wanting to move forward, I reread this valuable tool. Okay, it didn’t occur to me until now that it might help to read it again.
That said; Cloud draws from the wisdom of the gardener’s arsenal when taking the pruning sheers to life and business. Can I go on record here and say, ‘I hate this process.’ It may be necessary, but it’s not my favorite. It’s uncomfortable. It’s sometimes painful. Letting go of one of my pet projects can be like saying goodbye to a friend. I like my friends. I don’t want to say goodbye. Letting go of an anointing I’ve had my whole adult life, NO, I don’t like it. But, if this is what is necessary to receive the new, let’s do this! This is a time of uncomfortable action.
Jesus told His disciples:
I am the true Vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that continues to bear fruit, He [repeatedly] prunes, so that it will bear more fruit [even richer and finer fruit]. John 15.1-2 AMP
The Ekklesia Remnant is being pruned.
We are in transition. Inevitably something is ending, so that something new can take its place. When following the Spirit, we don’t always know exactly what’s coming. Yet, something has to move out before the new thing can take up residence. That’s where I am at. I know others who are faced with the same uncertainty. The new thing is coming but it isn’t here yet. All I am feeling is the emptiness of the old thing being gone.
Endings are a reoccurring part of life.
The more accustomed we get to accepting the inevitability of endings the easier they are to navigate. Still not my favorite, but I am better equipped, than I used to be. Endings are type of death.
The first time I experienced the death of a loved one it was debilitating. Yet, I learned that grief came in waves. I discovered that if I let myself ride the wave, I wasn’t taken out by it. Not that future losses came any easier. They didn’t. But when they came, I knew what to expect. It made facing an ending easier. With endings, like a death, we need to grieve the loss.
We get used to how things are
We tend to look at life, ministry, our relationship with God, and others through the lens of our spiritual gifting, whatever that may be. I’ve functioned in a variety of spiritual giftings over the years. I learned how to navigate situations in life and ministry through the way those giftings operated in me and through me. I learned how to hear Holy Spirit when I’m ministering to someone. I learned how to teach from a prophetic perspective. I learned how to plot a course in our gatherings, based on how Holy Spirit was moving.
When we ended up in a prolonged open heaven season, everything was different. I had to to learn a whole new way of interacting in the Spiritual realm. I had to learn a whole new way of ministering to others. I was forced to, because the way God was showing up was different. I couldn’t rely on the way I had done things before.
Once again, things have changed and all of that is gone. And when I say gone, I mean gone. I can’t pull it up if I tried. I’m in a time when it feels like God pulled up stakes and didn’t leave a forwarding address. I don’t believe He abandoned me. It’s just how it feels.
NOW WHAT?
It’s hard to not hurl when your life feels like you’re on a ship at sea in a massive storm. Most of the time, I hang on for dear life waiting for the whole thing to just stop. So, now what?
I’ve been trying to get my balance back. But that isn’t working. It won’t work, because God is doing something new. And in order for the new to come into place the old thing has to die.
In the meantime, I decided to revisit the scriptures the Lord spoke to me in 2022. I am revisiting 1 Peter 5.10 and Isaiah 43.19. Why? Because they were promises from God, before I tossed my guts out on the sea of life.
Revisiting 1 Peter 5.10
And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore you, secure you, strengthen you, and establish you.
We all know that God’s version of a little while and our version are probably enormously different. The secret to understanding God’s perspective of time might be to consider that He exists outside of time. In the scheme of eternity, a couple of years is a little while. For me, here in the earth realm, two years isn’t a little while. Time passed doesn’t diminish the promise that God Himself will restore, secure, strengthen and establish. So, what am I going to do? I am going to go back to what God said and declare that God watches over His word to perform it. [Jer. 1.12]
Returning to Isaiah 43.19
For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.
I admit, I don’t see it. I have no recourse, but to ask God for eyes to see and ears to hear. I have to trust that God is cutting a path right to my door. And I have to trust that He is bringing a river, a river of life, with Him when He comes.
I didn’t go searching through Bible for something that sounded good. I didn’t pick these verses out because I like them. They were imparted to my spirit by Holy Spirit, two years in a row. He spoke these to me as a prophetic word. I believe when He gave me those verses as a promise, it was not only for me personally, but for the Ekklesia Remnant as well.
Revamped, Refurbished, and Reinvigorated
The Ekklesia Remnant is being completely reconstructed. The way we have always functioned is being replaced with a whole new empowering system. This isn’t going to be like a system update. It’s going to be more like changing out the existing motor with a new performance engine.
I’ll never forget when I found myself behind the wheel of a friend’s Porsche Cayenne. I had a Jeep. I was on the highway. When I needed to cross three lanes of traffic to get to my exit I wasn’t expecting to get there lightning fast. I barely touched the accelerator, and ZOOM! I had never driven a performance car before. Yikes, the power under that hood was almost scary.
God is on His Way
The spiritual upgrade coming is going to be like that. More power under the hood than you ever had before. For those in this season of waiting for the upgrade, rest assured that its coming. God is on the way. He is coming to restore. He is coming to secure. He is coming to strengthen. He is coming to establish. He is coming with the river of life. He is coming to transform and empower the Ekklesia Remnant for the new work He has prepared.
A New Way
God is developing in us a new way of hearing His voice. A new way of receiving vision and revelation. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. His methods change. I hear the words, “Just Be.” It isn’t important how much headway we make right now. It isn’t about making progress. It’s about waiting and listening. Once the new empowerment comes there will be plenty to do. For now, it’s wait. Like the disciples instructed by Jesus to wait until they receive power from on high.
I am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high. Luke 24.49 NIV
The new mantle will bring new power from Holy Spirit. The new impartation will be accompanied with new revelation, new insight, new direction, and new instructions. We will hear in a new way. We will see in a new way. We will function in a new way. It won’t be the way we functioned before only better. It will be entirely different. It will be as different as riding a bicycle and driving that Porsche. We will be stepping into things we never imagined possible. It will be worth the wait!
Heavenly Father, We position our hearts and lives to receive from you all that you have prepared for us in this new season. Grant us the grace to let go of the old, embrace the new and the courage to step into all that you have called us to do. In Jesus’ name. Amen
